How to react when terrorists attack Preparation key to survival -'Dirty bomb' attack... 'What you should have on hand: Coarse soap for washing is helpful in case someone is exposed to radiation.' -Chemical attack... 'What to do during an attack: If told to stay inside, turn off all ventilation, seal windows, doors and vents of an internal room and keep listening to the radio. Ten square feet of a sealed room holds air for one person for five hours. If outside, move upwind and seek shelter. You can provide a minimal amount of protection by breathing through a damp cloth.' -Biological attack... 'Symptoms of various diseases: Plague -- a rapid onset of pneumonia, chills, fever, rapid pulse and painful, enlarged lymph nodes.' -What families should do... 'keep an easy-to-grab box of important documents: deeds, wills, passports, bank account information, etc. And don't forget food and other supplies for your pets.' -What else?... 'Most important, authorities say, don't panic.'

Yes, of course. DON'T PANIC!

Warnings trigger a run on disaster supplies

At Central Ace Hardware in Miami Beach, long a prime source for hurricane supplies, calls came early. ''A guy wanted a dozen rolls of duct tape,'' manager Jack Terplicki said. ''He wanted to make sure he was prepared for the security alert and was afraid it would sell out. Normally, in hurricane season, all you need is one roll for the house.'

"Right. You can't be serious. I mean -- How did you get here? By what freakish circumstance did your résumé find its way into a pile with the rest of these seasoned professionals? I'm looking at this résumé and I'm thinking, Hey, this guy has never done anything serious in his life. Even the names here are ridiculous: QuantumLeaps, FutureClicks, Luminescence. What the hell are 'boutique eco-bungalows?' How did you end up here, talking to me?"

I was too shocked by her sudden change in demeanor to debate the relative merits of those names versus "CogentResponse."